The Amora, Rav Achi, said: The conversation of the slaves of the Patriarchs is more pleasing before the Omnipresent than the Torah of their descendants, for the episode of Eliezer's quest for a wife for Isaac is doubled in the Torah while many essential elements of the Torah were given only by allusion (Bereishis rabbah 60:8).
Rav Nissan Alpert z"l explained beautifully this cryptic rabbinic statement. The Torah is very expansive in telling and re-telling the story of Eliezer ("the conversation of the slaves of the Patriarchs") because of its subject matter; it teaches us about the religious personality of a Jew- specifically, chessed. In this pedagogic realm, concise, logical explanations, entirely adequate in other realms of Torah ("the Torah of their descendants"), do not suffice. Anecdotal, inspirational illustrations are also necessary. Hence, due to the difference in subject matter, the Torah devotes more space to the "conversation of the slaves", than to the "Torah of [the] descendants."
Similarly, added Rav Alpert, in the annals of gedolei yisroel we encounter differing pedagogic styles. The writings of the Vilna Gaon, for example, are characterized by their compactness and brevity. Chassidic lore, on the other hand, is replete with stories. The difference in styles was dictated by the respective subject matters. The Chassidic masters, in the tradition of Eliezer, focused on the religious personality and duties of the heart- faith, trust in Hashem, etc. These matters must be taught expansively. The glosses of the Vilna Gaon to Shulchan Aruch, primarily focusing on the minutiae of halachah, did not necessitate such elaboration (1).
Let us further develop this distinction. Minutiae of halachah are vitally important; accordingly, we must initially study them, and subsequently review in order to retain that knowledge. Halachic teachings regarding faith, trust in Hashem, chessed, etc demand even more (2). In addition to mastery and retention we have to internalize these teachings and beliefs; faith is incomplete if we only know the tenets of Judaism. Similarly, chessed, without being internalized can only be inadequately practiced; our personalities must be suffused with and defined by chessed.
The transition from knowledge to internalization demands constant review and incessant reinforcement. Reinforcement upon reinforcement. This process, in our overly intellectualized climate of learning, seems alien and is oft times neglected. We study to master something new, to expand our horizons. Per force we review so that our horizons should not become constricted due to forgetfulness. But, once these aims have been achieved, it seems unproductive to undertake further review. Why review again what one already knows and has retained when one could study something new?
Parshas Chayei Sarah provides the resounding answer. The Torah tells and retells the story of Eliezer and its lessons of chessed to teach us that we must learn and constantly reinforce in order to internalize such teachings.
The need for and ramifications of internalizing religious, moral, or ethical teachings also warrants some elaboration. Obviously, the present forum does not allow for a comprehensive presentation. Let us, however, focus, albeit briefly and inadequately, on the topic of chessed.
Man is naturally a self-centered being. This inclination, like any divinely implanted inclination or instinct, is very important for Hashem's plan for the world. Our self-centeredness contains the instinct for self-survival and desire to live; "He did not create the world to be desolate; [rather] He formed it to be inhabited. (3)" "And a person shall live through mitzvos and not die on their account."(4) Our self-centeredness allows us in our service of Hashem to be initially motivated by ulterior considerations of reward and punishment. This motivation is necessary and thus the susceptibility crucial; "a person should be preoccupied with Torah and mitzvos [even] for ulterior motives, because this will lead to pure motivation". (5)
As is true of all instincts, self-centeredness has to be refined. We should allow it to flourish in the form of desiring life, but we cannot allow it to deteriorate into crass, crude egotism.
A chesed-oriented personality is attuned to other people's sensitivities and needs, not merely his own. Crude egotism has ceded to altruism, whereby he feels that he lives not for himself, but to serve Hashem, and an integral part of that service is helping others. Such a chesed personality recognizes opportunities for and occasions of chesed and extending courtesy which a self-centered personality could never discern.
The story is told of a poor woman who before the holiday of Pesach came to Rav Yosef Dov HaLevi Soloveitchik, the Beis HaLevi, and inquired if she could use milk in lieu of wine for the four cups. The Beis HaLevi gently answered in the negative, and proceeded to give her a large sum of money. After the woman departed, the Beis HaLevi's intimates who had witnessed this scene queried why a foolish question had prompted him to give a large sum of money. Rav Soloveitchik responded that this destitute woman did not know if milk could be used for the four cups. However, she surely knew that one does not drink milk soon after eating meat. Clearly then she is so poor that she can afford neither wine nor meat. Accordingly, I provided funds for her yom tov expenses.
This story is often told to highlight the genius of the Beis HaLevi. The real point of the story, however, is his sensitivity. Instead of being irked by the woman's "foolish" question, Rav Soloveitchik was attuned to her unspoken suffering.
One who is content to merely practice chesed from a self-centered perspective is incapable of recognizing such occasions for chesed. Similarly, only one possessing a chesed personality will have the sensitivity to measure his actions by their effect on others, not just on himself. To cite a trivial example, when compelled to leave a shul or Beis Medrash in the midst of tefillah or a shiur, a chesed personality will ensure that the door closes quietly so as to not cause a disturbance.
A chesed personality will never use people. When he asks a favor or advice, he will feel and communicate his gratitude. A self-centered personality will not hesitate to impose in seeking help, but will not take the time to follow up afterwards and inform his mentor or benefactor how things developed.
In sum, chesed needs to be internalized; otherwise it cannot even be adequately practiced. For this reason the Torah reinforces the conversation of the slaves because reinforcement upon reinforcement is the method of internalization.
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