Rabbi Mordechai WilligPinchas, Bris Mila, and Parenting

Every bris begins with the first three pesukim of Parshas Pinchas, which describe the heroism of Pinchas, and the subsequent reward of "bris shalom." Why were these pesukim chosen? Let us examine the background of this story.

"And now I will advise you," (24:14). Rashi, citing Sanhedrin (106a), tells us what Bilaam's advice to Balak was: Since Hashem hates promiscuity, induce the Israelite men to sin. This strategy, attributed to Bilaam (31:16) proved successful and caused 24,00 to die in a plague (25:1,9). The zealous act of Pinchas halted the plague by turning back Hashem's anger, and earned Pinchas the covenant of peace (25:7-12).

Why was Bilaam's strategy successful at this particular time, a point alluded to by his opening word, "veata" (and now)? Rav C.Y. Goldvicht, z"l, answered this question based on Rashi (23:8) who quotes Sanhedrin (105b), saying that Bilaam's power was that he knew the precise moment that Hashem is angry each day. This is a difficult answer to understand because, on the days that Bilaam came to Balak, we don't see Hashem getting angry at all.

Now, anger is generally a negative attribute. Why then does Hashem exhibit anger every day? Apparently, anger, which is a manifestation of strict justice (din) and strength (gevurah), is necessary, albeit in very small measure, to create a balance in the heavens with Hashem's dominant attribute of kindness (chessed).

An unchecked overabundance of chessed can lead to immorality (arrayos) (Vayikra 20:17). Bilaam was frustrated at the complete absence of Hashem's anger for many days, which prevented him from cursing Am Yisroel. He sensed that the lack of anger created an imbalance, on overabundance of chessed, which would make people more susceptible to the temptations of immorality. Thus, his cunning, and successful advice that now was the right time to entice the men of Am Yisrael to commit a sin which is a perversion of chessed.

To this interpretation of the Rosh Yeshiva z"l, one may add the following. Why was Hashem's anger so powerful as to threaten the very existence of our people and how did an act of Pinchas quell this anger? Perhaps there was, kivyachol, a measure of pent up anger because of all the days when no anger was shown. This posed a great threat when the men of Am Yisroel succumbed to the sin of zenus.

Pinchas is introduced as the grandson of Aharon, who personified love and the pursuit of peace. When he, of all people, overcame his inherited predisposition to avoid controversy, and zealously avenged the crime on behalf of Hashem, the balance was restored and Hashem's anger abated.

The reward that Pinchas received, "brisi sholom", seems inappropriate for an act of violence. In reality, however, a peace of no principles cannot stand. Pinchas, by fighting for principle, and by utilizing an attribute that was antithetical to his personality and up bringing, achieved true sholom.

At every bris, a father overcomes his innate, overwhelming and unconditional love of his son, and performs, by proxy, what has been called a barbaric act. Thus the appropriate introduction to the bris is the similar, though much more heroic and dramatic, action of Pinchas. Perhaps the parallel of "brisi sholom", the reward for Pinchas, is the proper balance of discipline and unconditional love required for successful parenting.

The Rambam (Moreh Nevuchim 3:49) suggests that a reason for bris milah is the curbing of male desire, which enables a Jewish man to resist the temptation of immorality. If so, the introduction of Pinchas' zealousness is directly on point. As noted earlier, the males of Am Yisroel sinned because the balance of chesed and gevura was impaired by the absence of Hashem's anger. Pinchas' zealousness restored the balance and saved us from Hashem's wrath.

Similarly, a bris, according to the Rambam, is necessary to achieve a proper balance to ensure that the powerful male yetzer hora be held in check. Therefore, the pesukim describing how Pinchas achieved this critical balance are quoted as the appropriate introduction to each bris milah.

In our times, society has lost its sense of balance and proportion in these areas. Parenting in America avoids placing limitations on the activities of children. In Israel, spanking a misbehaved youngster, a biblically and talmudically sanctioned act (see Mishlei (13:24) and Makkos 8A), has been criminalized by the court. While overly restricting a child is inadvisable, and hitting too hard of too often is prohibited, the nearly total absence of discipline has led to a situation in which the traditional balance of child rearing has been lost.

The decadence and permissiveness of modern society poses a threat to all of our children. At a bris, when we involve the pesukim describing Pinchas's act and its reward we should be mindful of the lessons that apply to all generations. By learning these lessons and acting upon them, parents can raise their children in the traditional, balanced way and thereby be blessed, as was Pinchas, with the bracha of peace, shalom.