With all the many and varied ba'alei teshuva that have become part of the blessings of our communities, it is at first blush, hard to swallow the absolute certainty with which the Torah dooms the future of the "ben sorer umoreh" ("the rebellious son"). It is because the Torah is sure that he will grow up to rob and murder, that the beis din acts in his best interests and executes him as a child when he is still innocent of these crimes. True, this child of thirteen has stolen to feed a gluttonous habit and is undaunted by parental scolding and the court's painful lashes. Nevertheless can we be so sure that in the many years ahead there will not be but one experience, one influential person or one inner voice that will prevent him from stealing and killing to maintain his ravenous behavior. Perhaps we can more accurately question that though there never was and never will be a ben sorer umoreh, what are we to learn from the Torah's certain pessimism and pity that insists on his self destructive course.
It is precisely in his youthfulness that Rav Shamshon Raphael Hirsch sees an important message regarding chinuch. The thirteen year old child new to his responsibilities and contributions should naturally feel within in him some thrill and excitement in them. The newly arrived yetzer hatov with its attendant interest in doing good and with the maturing sense of self, give the fresh bar or bas mitzvah immeasurable potential. This potential and optimism should happily inform his ambitions even as it shapes the nachas that his elders envision. A portal to all of this is the care with which new bar mitzvah boys don their tefilin which we hope will last for a very long life. Similarly we have come to expect that a fresh bar mitzvah will be quick to daven with a minyan and we pray that this becomes a life long routine practice. Even if not sustained due to the busyness of life and competing interests, rahcmana litzlan, this initial excitement shows a natural affinity for the mitzvos. It bodes well for the future and can surely be built upon, at later moments of inspiration and periods of spiritual growth.
However the ben sorer umoreh which only applies during the first three month post bar mitzvah, indicates a total disregard for the natural uplift of the nascent yetzer hatov. Hedonistic pleasure has successfully disconnected the young man from any excitement or simple sense of newness that should inform his disposition at this time. It is that emotional flatness and total indifference to spiritual growth which sadly predicts that the Torah will uncharacteristically never touch his heart or mind.
Rav Hirsch's insight should certainly give us direction as we celebrate our children's entry into "ol mitzvos", as well as all their milestones and ours. How important it must be to encourage the excited anticipation of the privilege and distinction afforded to us by His mitzvos.
Perhaps this helps us understand the yom tov of Rosh Hashana as well, which has us celebrate even as we grow anxious pondering the judgment that we face and the standards to which we will be held. As concerned as we may be, the fresh start and the newness of the upcoming year with all its potential and optimism indeed gives us much reason to celebrate. This optimism may be a very potent prayer for Hashem's kindness and compassion as we stand before Him.