The parshios of Tazria and Metzorah focus our attention on tzora'as. Chazal[1] famously associate tzora'as with the sin of lashon harah. And thus it is most appropriate that on this Shabbos we reflect upon lashon harah and strategies/perspectives to help us avoid this calamitous[2] sin. One such perspective ensues.
The following scenario is all too common. Reuven offends Shimon. Perhaps Reuven embarrasses Shimon publicly or is especially mean and abrasive in private conversation. Either way Shimon feels hurt and humiliated. In addition, he feels wronged, that he has been dealt with unfairly. He wants someone to commiserate with him in his pain and validate his moral outrage[3]. He wants to be vindicated. Shimon wants to be told that he deserves better than the treatment given him by Reuven. Thus in search of commiseration and vindication Shimon turns to Levi and tells him about his experience with Reuven. Shimon is guilty of lashon harah.
There are different ways to avert such lashon harah. Clearly, if need be, Shimon is obligated to suppress his desire for commiseration and vindication. Feelings of yiras chet should be more powerful than the desire for commiseration and vindication[4]. But there should be no need to suppress this desire. Hakadosh Baruch Hu should not be only an object of belief, a remote reality or abstract concept, rachmanah litzlan. Instead He should be a living presence, our best friend[5]. The commiseration and vindication Shimon seeks are readily available. He simply needs to remember, to internalize that Hakadosh Baruch Hu knows his pain and commiserates with him. Hakadosh Baruch Hu knows that Reuven was unjustified in his treatment of Shimon - thus Shimon's vindication. Feeling Hashem's reassuring presence, Shimon can easily remain silent. Recognizing that awareness of Hashem and/or feeling His presence serves as an antidote to lashon harah deepens our understanding of Chazal's teaching[6] that lashon harah is tantamount to denying Hashem.
[1]Arachin 15b, 16a
[2]See introductions to Chafetz Chaim and Shemiras halashon.
[3]I am not referring to exceptional cases wherein emotional support is needed. Such cases are beyond the purview of this dvar Torah. One should not confuse the desire for commiseration with the need for emotional support.
[4]Rambam, Sefer Hamitzvos, mitzvas aseh #4
[5]Mishlei 27:10, Rashi to Shabbos 31a s.v. De'alach
[6]Arachin 15b