A terrifying epiphany, and an unrelenting response.
It was a moment of profound insight yet it was terribly disappointing and frustrating. "Achein nodah hadavar" marks that moment, when according to Rashi, Moshe Rabeinu understood why his people were in bondage and what was prolonging their Diaspora. It would not surprise me to learn that this was a "siman lebanim" and that similar insight, disappointment and frustration have come upon leaders, albeit of far lesser measure, countless times since.
It all happened to Moshe as he intervened with concern and courage, protecting one Jew from the beatings of another. Nevertheless Moshe was dealt a sneering and degrading retort which revealed that the prior death of an Egyptian at Moshe's hand was not the well kept secret Moshe had hoped it would be. Moshe's reaction achein nodah hadavar simply seems to be expressing his own anxiety at having been discovered and dangerously exposed. However, the fact that he did not flee immediately, and waited until he was almost killed by Pharoh, relegates this phrase, in its simplicity, inconsequential and without purpose.
Thus Chazal explain that "hadavar - the matter" refers us to the most pertinent subject to a Jew in galus, the understanding for which he yearns: why and to what end; how much and for how long. It follows that achein nodah hadavar signifies a terrifying epiphany. What did Moshe discover in the startling and defiant response of this Jew? Did he find that the galus was justified by a wanton lack of contrition, a denial of authority, or a disdain for personal courage?
Let me share with you an idea that I chanced upon in a collection of thoughts by the magnificent author Simcha Raz. Perhaps Moshe had been disturbed the day before that he alone reacted to a Jew who was being beaten. No doubt, the erstwhile advocate of his people would be able to justify their seeming indifference and defend his brothers. After all they were peace loving, submissive, foreign slaves, lacking in strength and self esteem, and not at all disposed to physically battling an Egyptian under any circumstance.
Yet the next day as Moshe saw two Jews going at each other, his defense crumbled rapidly. Even the kind eye of their greatest protector could no longer see them as meek and timid slaves, unable to get in harms way for a brother. And now Moshe was puzzled even more than before, why no other Jew jumped into the fray to protect another, just one day earlier. Were they paralyzed by apathy or had they become indifferent to the pain of another? Could it be that Moshe was the only one of the entire nation who cared? Achein nodah hadavar!! Now that is a painful moment! Moshe learned that the length and depth of our suffering is borne out of indifference and emotional lethargy. It is borne of being numbed by pain and no longer moved by it.
Perhaps we, too, have to become more attuned to the desperate cries of our orphans and our poor that fill our mailboxes daily. Perhaps we, too, have succumbed to the rhythm and comfort of inactivity and are not nearly responsive enough to the needs of Klal Yisrael and Eretz Yisrael.
Yet there is another part of the story that is not told explicitly by Chazal, but is so glaringly obvious, and that is the story of Moshe's unrelenting response. Moshe was frightened and disappointed, disillusioned and worried to no end. Nevertheless, he did not for a moment cease his efforts to arouse the Jewish people and ultimately bring them to their destiny.