The first six pesukim of LeDovid Hasehm Ori (the perek of Tehillim repeated daily throughout this season) describe a level of confidence and trust that we recite rather longingly. For almost a month we have been saying:
"Hashem is my light and my salvation, whom shall I fear? Hashem is the stronghold of my life, from whom shall I be frightened? ...my enemies...stumbled and fell ... if a war should rise ... in this I trust ... and now, my head will be raised over my enemies ... I will sacrifice ... sacrifices with joyous song, I will sing to and praise Hashem..."
In the seventh pasuk, that uplifting faith suddenly gives way to an impassioned expression of helplessness and despair. Without a textual clue to allude to any calamitous event, we continue:
"Listen Hashem to my voice when I call out, and favor me and answer me ... do not hide your presence from me, do not turn me away with anger ... do not forsake me and do not abandon me."
What happened? What impending calamity confronted Dovid Hamelech?
Imagine yourself feeling that all is wonderful and that all your physical needs are amply addressed, but one aspiration in life is disappointed: you are unable to spend countless hours in the bais hamedrash from morning to night, and you do not understand Hashem and His ways. Of course, in such a situation we would pray with a genuineness and sincerity to Hashem that He should complete our lives with bais hamedrash time. But would this disappointment motivate us to scream out as one facing the ravages of a disease, begging Hashem not to abandon us? Would we plead as one who has been deserted by one's parents and has no one to whom to turn? Perhaps that is exactly the intent of the centuries old custom to have this perek carry us through each day of this introspective and yom tov season.
Indeed, Rav Samson Raphael Hirsch understands that the intensity of Dovid Hamelech's focus is borne out of the supreme importance he places on his spiritual quests. In the very center of this perek, Dovid's heart shouts out to Hashem upon realizing that only his physical safety and comfort have been amply realized, but the sacred quests of his life have yet to be achieved. To Dovid Hamelech, disappointing his spiritual ambitions is far more devastating than any other shortcoming.
Interestingly, in the perek that we say before pisukei dezimra, Mizmor shiur chanukas habayis, Dovid also shrieks out like someone in dreadful pain or frightened of an irreversible illness - "Of what value will I be if I were to die ... please listen to my voice ..." - after saying that Hashem has given him every reason to feel secure in His protection! Here, Rav Elyashiv zt"l points out that according to Chazal, Dovid Hamelech was praying to be allowed to build the Bais Hamikdosh. Once again Dovid felt that should his service of Hashem not live up to his expectations, his military and administrative achievements would not be meaningful at all.
Perhaps this is why Klal Yisrael adopted leDovid Hashem to be the "shir shel yom" of Ellul and Tishrei. It is during these days that we are appropriately focused on the blessings that we will hopefully earn through our teshuva and prayer. The health, prosperity, and companionship that we ask for are all well-articulated pursuits and prayers. Have we taken time, however, to articulate our aspirations as a friend, as a family member, and as one who has a place in the sacred mission of Bnei Yisrael? Have we given time to consider a plan of how will we grow these parts of our lives as we focus on plans to grow so many other parts of life?
The passion of Dovid Hamelech in his unrelenting quest to simply be in close proximity to Hashem, even after he has achieved far more than a rare few, encourages us to ponder and articulate our spiritual quests, plan for them, and pray for them, during the gifts of Ellul and Tishrei.