Last weeks parsha concluded with Avrams name being changed to Avraham. His new name represented his role as a father for the entire world. Throughout the parshios of Lech Lecha, Vayera, and Chayey Sarah that deal with the events of Avrahams lifetime, the Torah records many interactions that Avraham had with leaders and members of other nations. Avraham is accorded great respect and admiration from the leading personalities of his time. He is blessed by Malchitzedek, sought after by Avimelech to enter into a treaty, and referred to as a prince of Hashem by the tribe of Efron when negotiating purchasing a burial plot for Sarah. What was it about Avraham that won him the honor and respect from his contemporaries?
Chazal comment that the title Avraham HaIvri not only describes his birthplace as being ever lnahar (the other side of the river) but also refers to Avraham being distinct from the rest of humanity. His values and behavior were "on the other side of the river" from the rest of the world. Not only did Avraham not espouse the values of those around him, he challenged those who subscribed to idolatry and those who sanctioned unethical behavior. Chazal relate to us the story that occurred during Avrahams youth when he smashed the idols that led to his fleeing from Ur Kasdim. He confronts Avimelech in Parshas Vayera and informs him that Avimelechs own servants are guilty of stealing Avrahams wells. Someone who lives up to a higher ethical and spiritual standard than others and also attempts to correct others is usually met with animosity. How did Avrahams behavior not only not earn the scorn of those around him, but also win their admiration and respect?
The secret to Avrahams success with his contemporaries was that they realized that he truly cared about them. Notwithstanding his absolute belief that idolatry had no place in the world, he cared even about the idol worshippers themselves. His tent was open to all and Chazal teach us that he treated the three angels royally even though he thought that they worshipped the sand of the desert. His care for all did not minimize his attitude towards idolatry and he insisted that they wash their feet and remove the sand before entering his tent. Once they did, he served them with love hoping to show them the proper path to avodas Hashem. The inhabitants of Sodom lived in a way that was antithetical to everything that Avraham held dear. Yet, when told of the imminent destruction that would befall them, Avraham interceded on their behalf. When one is perceived by others to be self-centered and arrogant because of ones higher spiritual standards, envy and eventually hatred of that person will result. However, if the righteous individual truly cares for others, he will not only be tolerated, but he will be respected and admired. Those around him will realize that his correcting of others does not stem from arrogance, but rather from a genuine care and concern for the welfare of all.
We often find ourselves in situations in which we have to subscribe to a higher ethical and religious standard than many of those around us. It is critical to never be aloof and uncaring, even of those whose actions and beliefs we do not approve of. We should never compromise our standards to win the favor of others, rather we should relate to others in a kind and caring manner. By bringing honor and respect to our values and actions, we are truly magnifying the honor and respect of Hashem Who expects us to live a life of emulating the values and actions of Avraham Avinu.
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