I
Cham said to his brothers, "Adam had two sons, and one killed the other because of the inheritance of the world" (Rashi, 4:25)
Unfortunately, arguments within a family over inheritance continue to this day. Even within the halachic community, governed by the Torah's clear laws of inheritance (Bamidbar 27:7-11), families are sometimes torn asunder by disputes, large and small financially, yet heated and protracted emotionally.
Sometimes, tragically, it is precisely a lack of appreciation of the Torah's laws which contribute to severe tensions in Orthodox families. The Torah provides that sons inherit their parents, while daughters inherit only if there are no sons. In a world of gender identity, this halacha can lead to resentment and worse by women who feel entitled to an equal share of the estate[1].
The double portion allotted by the Torah (Devarim 21:17) to a first-born son can cause jealousy and worse, especially in a world in which primogeniture is an anachronism. The special status of bechor is the theme of many quarrels, including murder and attempted murder, throughout Sefer Breishis (examples include Kayin (4:8), Yishmael (Rashi 21:4), and Esav (27:41)). The unique position of a first-born son no longer exists in modern society. This leads to animosity over a bechor's double portion.
In the interests of peace within a family, a surviving spouse should arrange that his or her assets be divided equally among the children[2]. However, according to most authorities, a typical last will and testament is halachically ineffective. One cannot bequeath property posthumously (Pischei Choshen 9:134).
Nonetheless, one can indemnify himself to his daughters, a common practice six hundred years ago (see Maharil siman 88). A conditional obligation (shtar chatzi zachar) was used to grant a daughter a half-share (Rama Choseh Mishpat 281:7)
A will should be written to avoid a fight among one's children (see Rama Choshen Mishpat 257:7). A will which calls for the Torah's exclusion of daughters leads to hatred and a split in the family (Gesher Hachaim p.42). Today, bequeathing equal shares to all children is the most likely way to avoid these terrible results.
Women who do not receive equal shares halachically may be tempted to secure them in secular court. This attempt constitutes a violation of the prohibition to litigate in secular court (Shulchan Aruch Choshen Mishpat 26:1), and, if successful, of theft of money which belongs to their brothers. This practice became so commonplace in the modern era that it led to the abandonment of the Rama's shtar chatzi-zachar (Maharsham 2:224:29, cited in Mishpat Hatzava'a p.164).
II
Recent authorities have called for the reinstitution of a note of indebtedness to make a will halachically effective (Rav Zalman Nechemia Goldberg, Techumin vol. 4, p. 350. Rav Feivel Cohen, Kuntras Midor Ledor. See Pischei Choshen, vol. 9, p. 168-175). The will should provide that a token portion of the estate, such as seforim, should be divided according to the Torah's laws (Techumin p. 349). Since the change from the Torah's law is achieved through an indebtedness and not a bequest, it is permissible, just as one may transfer assets during his lifetime (see Nachlas Shiva 21:6).
The document below was drafted many years ago, upon consultation with both rabbonim and attorneys, to make a will halachically effective. While circumstances may vary, peace within a family should be parents' main concern, during their own lifetimes and beyond.
[1] The reason for the Torah's laws are not completely clear, but we believe the Torah is perfect and just. Perhaps the Torah provides incentives for different gender roles by its laws, including inheritance. See "Women in Judaism" (Orchos Aliyah, S.O.Y., Dec. 1995, p. 15)
[2] Halachically, a husband inherits his wife's assets. A wife is entitled only to support from her husband's estate until she remarries (Even Hoezer 93:3). Nowadays, it seems advisable that the wife should inherit her husband's assets. In the common case of joint ownership of a home or other assets, the surviving spouse is likely the sole owner according to halacha as well. Otherwise a note of indebtedness to one's wife can achieve the same net result.