As we complete the book of Bereishis we must constantly remind ourselves that there are no Bible stories or narratives, only Bible lessons. Parshas Vayechi begins with Yaakov beseeching Yosef that he not be buried in Egypt. This request is couched by requesting of Yosef, "chessed v'emes." Rashi, citing the Medrash, teaches that chessed that is done with the dead is chessed shel emes as one cannot anticipate any reciprocation from the dead.
In reality I believe the Torah is teaching us not only this particular lesson which has provided the name of the burial societies throughout the millennia of "chessed shel emes", but is teaching the very important principle that ideally all of one's chessed is to be performed without the expectation of reciprocation. Thus, we find in the long narrative that the Torah devotes to Eliezer's finding a wife for Yitzchak, when Rivkah complies with Eliezer's noble requests, he thanks Hashem (24:27) "who has not witheld chasdo v'amito - His kindness and truth - from my master." Clearly, we are not dealing with any service or favor to the dead, but rather the Torah is portraying chessed on the highest level. Note that the Seforno (24:22) explains why Eliezer gave Rivkah the jewelry in recognition of her service even before he asked her for her name and her family as he was astonished by her genuine altruism, not asking or expecting anything in return. An example of chessed shel emes.
Similarly, we find in the book of Yehoshua (2:12-14) that Rachav, who hides the two spies sent by Yehoshua and saves their lives, requests of them that they swear that just as she has done chessed with them, they too will do chessed with her family by saving them when the Jewish people conquer the land. The spies respond to her that when Hashem gives us the land, we will do with you chessed v'emes. The commentary Metzudas Dovid teaches that they responded that unlike you who are certainly performing chessed but looking for reciprocation in kind, we will extend to you chessed in its pristine form namely without reciprocation.
I believe the following can shed additional light on the term emes with its being devoid of personal subjectivity. The Rambam in chapter 2 of Moreh Nevuchim responds to the following question: at first glance it seems bizarre that when Adam defies G-d and eats from the forbidden fruit, he is rewarded for his transgression. After all, the unique characteristic that separates man from the animal is his intelligence, so is it not strange that after defying his Creator he is rewarded with the knowledge of good and bad? The Rambam answers that indeed Adam had intelligence prior to his eating, as we are told in the first chapter of Bereishis, that he was created in the image of G-d, understood by Bereishis Rabba (8:11) "lehavin u'lehaskill - to understand and to gain wisdom." Therefore, continues the Rambam, prior to Adam's sinning his level of intelligence was absolute, namely true and false. Now, man imbibed the knowledge of good and bad. His original knowledge was objective, now he has the gray area of subjectivity.
This may be clearly understood in the following way. For one man to hit another one is bad; this is a true statement. However, if you tell two men to put on shorts, sneakers, and gloves, call it boxing, call it a sport, it is now acceptable for one man to hit another even if, as often time happens, it can lead to serious injury. Prior to his eating, man's intelligence was objective; like two and two equals four, similarly his values were pure, straight forward, without subjectivity. All this changed with much gray overshadowing the prior black and white perspective.
In Eishel Chayil, Shlomo Hamelech refers to the Torah as Toras Chessed. The Talmud reminds us that the Torah begins with Hashem's chessed of providing clothing for Adam and Chava, and ends with His chessed of burying Moshe. We are commanded to do chessed as the Torah teaches (Devarim 28:9), "vehalachta b'drachav", to go in his image, to emulate Hashem. As He is the practitioner of constant chessed shel emes, meaning all of His kindness is done with complete and total altruism, as the Ramchal says in Derech Hashem, "Derech hatov le'haytiv - the nature of The Good One is to extend goodness." Hashem created a magnificent world and showers mankind with abundant blessings every second of their existence without needing nor expecting anything in return.
Thus, before performing a chessed, be it bikur cholim, nichum aveilum, or hachnasas kallah, one should ideally say I am about to fulfill the mitzvah of vehalachta b'drachav, emulating Hashem. One should strive to therefore extend help, whenever possible, anonymously, not leaving the recipient of your kindness with the feeling of indebtedness to you.
Case in point; a beautiful story occurred to reflect this message well. A boy with dyslexia and special needs was taught for many months the wrong haftorah. When the family realized the mistake it was much too late to even attempt to teach him the correct one. They asked the late Reb Shlomo Zalamn Auerbach zt"l if anything could be done and he ruled that the boy should read the haftorah he studied. He instructed the father to tell the gabbai and congregation that this was in accordance with Rabbi Auerbach's teaching. Anticipating that the congregation might be troubled and concerned regarding the legitimacy of the ruling, the aged rabbi, who was close to 80 years old at the time, walked from Shaarei Tzedek to Sanhedria to personally be present for the reading of the haftorah. What could Rav Shlomo Zalman have anticipated to receive from the family? He exited and taught all of us how we are to perform chessed v'emes, chessed of the highest order.
COVID has hit all of us in a most devastating way. Among the many harsh consequences has been the imposed social distancing which has manifested itself in disallowing one to have Shabbos and yom tov guests. Too many individuals who live alone and who are isolated by the pandemic have suffered greatly from this imposition. It behooves us to act as Avraham Avinu, whose behavior is highlighted in Avos D'rav Noson (7:1) which compares the chessed of Avraham and Iyov. Iyov responded generously to all who came to his home and asked for food and shelter. In contrast, Avraham Avinu initiated chessed by searching for guests and providing them with chessed v'emes. We too must find ways to extend our concern and compassion in creative ways during these trying times.