Yehuda - What's in a Name?
Our people are called Bnei Yisrael in the Torah. In Megillas Esther and since, we are called Yehudim. This change can be explained historically. After the ten tribes were exiled, the tribe of Yehuda comprised the majority of Am Yisrael. As such, all of us are called Yehudim. However, the Targum Yonasan in Parashat Vayechi (Breishis 49:8) offers a different explanation. He explains that Yaakov Avinu blessed Yehuda, "Your brothers will acknowledge you (yoducha)" as their ruler, and that this blessing is a reward for Yehuda's response to Tamar. "Yehuda," the Targum has Yaakov telling his son, "you admitted to the story of Tamar. Therefore, your brothers will acknowledge you ('yodun achayich') and will be called Yehudim after your name." The Targum thus links Yehuda's admission of his sin to his being acknowledged by his brothers, and to the fact that we are called Yehudim.
Perhaps these two explanations, the historical explanation, as well as the pshat of the Targum, can be reconciled. We are called Yehudim ever since the time that the ten tribes were scattered, because most Jews that were left from that time forward descended from the tribe of Yehuda. The reason the tribe of Yehuda is the one that survived is because they admitted to their mistakes. Admitting to mistakes enabled Yehuda himself to be acknowledged as the ruler of the family, and it also enabled his descendants, who followed his example, to survive.
One example of the historical phenomenon of the Jewish ability to admit to our mistakes is found in the very story of Esther. Why did the Jews of that time deserve extinction? According to the Talmud, it was because they partook of the party of the wicked Achashverosh (Megillah 12a). However, they were spared when they repented after Haman's decree (Yalkut Shimoni, Esther, 4:16; see Michtav Me-Eliyahu, Vol. 1, p. 77). Admitting their mistake and repenting enabled the Yehudim to survive and return to Eretz Yisrael by the decree of Esther's son Darius (Rashi, Chaggai 1:1). The ten tribes, by contrast, have not yet returned.
A third association with Yehuda's name, besides that of admission and acknowledgement, is that of thanks. When Yehuda was born to Leah as her fourth child, Leah said "This time I will thank Hashem. Therefore, she called his name 'Yehuda"' (Bereishis 29:35). As Rashi explains, Leah was saying, "This time I took more than my share. Hence I must thank [Hashem]."
Combining these themes of admission, acknowledgement, and thanks, we learn a valuable lesson. Only by admitting one's mistakes and shortcomings can one be in position to give proper thanks. Otherwise, our feelings of gratitude are hindered by a feeling of entitlement. Only by realizing our imperfections and our sins can we express the proper thanks and gratitude and thereby be worthy of acknowledgement by others (see R. Yitzchak Hutner, Pachad Yitzchak, Chanukah 2:5).
Realizing Our Limitations
On the verse in Yaakov's berachah to Yehuda discussed above, "attah yoducha achecha" Targum Onkelus has a very interesting explanation. He explains the pasuk as meaning "Yehuda, you admitted and were not ashamed. [Therefore] your brothers will acknowledge you" (Targum Onkelus, Breishis 49:8). How could Yehuda not have been ashamed to admit to his heretofore unknown paternity? Furthermore, isn't shame, especially in intimate matters, a praiseworthy hallmark of our people (Yevamos 79a)? How was it that Yehuda did not feel shamed?
The key to answering these questions is the realization that we only feel shame when we fall short of our expected standard of behavior. No one is ashamed of their inability to fly. Yehuda, aware of the fact that "there is no person who does not sin" (Koheles 7:20), was thus able to admit his sin without shame. Also, although intimate matters are usually supposed to be kept private, that value is outweighed when one has the opportunity to save someone else from harm. Thus, Yehuda admitted his paternity in an effort to save Tamar's life (Rashi, Breishis 38:25). Asked to recognize his personal effects and admit his paternity of Tamar's unborn children, Yehuda, as Rashi puts it, was called upon to "recognize [his] Creator:' When one recognizes and realizes that it is the will of Hashem to admit when one falls short and sins, the shame of a public confession like the one Yehuda experienced can be eliminated. For these realizations, Yehuda deserved to be a ruler and to have our entire nation called Yehudim.
A Dynasty of Kings
Just as Yehuda's leadership and our people's survival resulted from admitting mistakes, so too was the Davidic dynasty preserved in this manner. Like his ancestor, David Ha-Melech admitted his mistakes immediately (Yoma 22b, see Maharsha and HaRav Y.D. Soloveitchik, Kol Dodi Dofek ("Hachmatzas Ha-Sha'ah"). Shaul, in contrast, did not do so when faced with his mistake in not wiping out Amalek, and his dynasty was discontinued.
The ability to admit mistakes requires humility. Like Yehuda, David possessed humility, which enabled him to confess. "I am like a worm, not a man'' (Tehillim 22:7). Humility not only enables one to admit one's shortcomings, but it also allows one to accept rebuke, and even to maintain silence when faced with provocations.
In the haftarah of Parashas Vayechi, David tells Shlomo, "Shim'i ben Gera cursed me a powerful curse" (Melachim I 2:8). In fact, Shim'i had called David a murderer (Shmuel II 16:7) and pelted him with stones (ibid., 6). However, David protected Shim'i from Avishay, who wanted to kill him (ibid., 9-10), explaining: "Hashem told him to curse. Perhaps Hashem will repay me with goodness instead of the curse" (ibid., 11-12). David Ha-Melech, in demonstrating such humility, was in fact following in the footsteps of the greatest prophet and the humblest of men, Moshe Rabbeinu. When Yehoshua told Moshe to imprison the prophets who were prophesying Moshe's demise (Rashi, Bamidbar 11:27-28 ), Moshe rebuffed him (ibid., 29). David, learning from Moshe's example, was able to demonstrate humility and maintain his silence in the face of provocation. As a reward, Hashem repaid David for his decision to protect Shim'i and elevated David to the heavenly level of the patriarchs, by which David became the fourth wheel in the Divine Chariot (Chafetz Chaim, Shemiras Ha-Lashon, Sha'ar Ha-Tevunah 8).
We know that the Davidic dynasty will culminate in the arrival of Mashiach. Bar Kochba, a descendant of David who was proclaimed Mashiach by Rabbi Akiva in Beitar, in the end fell short of expectations by showing a lack in the qualities of David. Bar Kochba mistakenly thought that Rabbi Elazar Ha-Modai, whose prayers protected Beitar, was a conspirator. In his rage, he kicked and killed him. As a result, Beitar fell and Bar Kochba was killed (Midrash Eichah 2:4). An angry leader, who lacks the humility and forbearance of David, cannot be the Mashiach.
A Dynasty of Torah Leadership
Torah leadership also requires humility. Hillel, a descendant of David, established a centuries-long dynasty of Torah. He famously retained his patience even in the face of outrageous provocation ( Shabbos 31a) and Beis Hillel admitted when they made Torah mistakes, and upon realizing them, ruled in accordance with Beis Shammai (Eduyos 1:12, 13, 14). Hillel himself was the personification of humility (Shabbos 30b). Famously, in our practice, the Halachah always follows Beis Hillel because they not only quote Beis Shammai's opinion, but even cite it before their own (Eruvin 13b). Obviously the law is not decided in Beis Hillel's favor simply because of their ethical behavior, but rather, we hold like them because one who humbly listens to, respects, and quotes another's opinion, will likely reach a more proper conclusion in deciding the Halachah (R. Chaim Shmulevitz, Sichos Mussar, Sha'arei Chayyim, Ch. 46).
Keys to Survival Begin at Home
Yehuda was privileged to have our entire nation named after him because he promptly admitted his mistakes. His illustrious descendants David Ha-Melech and Hillel established dynasties of kingship and Torah, respectively, by following the lead of his humility. Thus, the Jews have survived history because of our adherence to the principles of our namesake, Yehuda. Confessing, acknowledging and thanking, the three related verbal expressions connected with Yehuda himself, are the critical survival skills of our people.
These same concepts are equally critical within a Jewish home and family. The model of Yehuda's own rulership occurred within the context of his own family, and must serve as inspiration for Jewish families forever. The Rambam writes that a husband should be viewed as a king (Rambam, Mishnah Torah, Hilchos Ishus, 15:20). To deserve this treatment, however, he must fulfill the first promise of the ketubah: "I will cherish you in the manner of Jewish men (Yehudain) who cherish their wives in truth (be-kushta).' He must acknowledge his debt to his wife, thank her constantly, and admit his mistakes in recognition of the truth (see Onkelos, Breishis 42:21).
Acknowledgement of one's personal debt to a spouse and appropriate and sincere gratitude, as well as sincere apologies when one makes mistakes, are crucial elements of a proper Jewish home. The phrases "I'm sorry" and "thank you" are integral for the success, and even the survival, of a Jewish marriage. As a community and as individuals, it is not enough to be called Jews. We must live up to the name Yehudim to survive, thrive, and merit the ultimate Jewish leader, Mashiach ben David, a descendant of Yehuda.
More divrei Torah, audio and video shiurim from Rabbi Willig