The moment Yosef has been dreaming about for twenty-two years is about to occur. Yosef goes out to greet his father with great anticipation. Rashi comments that he even prepared his own chariot rather than delegating the task to others because of his intense enthusiasm. One can understand the source of these intense feelings. Having been forcibly removed from his father's loving home and not knowing if his father was still alive had caused him such personal suffering for so long. It was only natural for this long-awaited reunion to be a great source of personal joy for Yosef. Yet, when the Torah describes the actual moment they meet, the phrase that is used is, "vayera eilav" - Yosef appeared to Yaakov. Rather than focusing on Yosef seeing his father, the emphasis is on his being seen by Yaakov. At the greatest moment of personal joy Yosef realized how much Yaakov had been dreaming about possibly seeing his beloved son again. Yosef immediately changed the focus of the moment to how he can bring joy to his father rather than focusing on his own personal happiness.
Yosef's ability to focus on others even at times that were meaningful to him is alluded to earlier in the parsha. As he cries tears of joy upon revealing himself to his brothers, and reuniting especially with Binyamin, Chazal saw a deeper meaning in those tears. As he embraced his younger brother Binyamin he shed tears for the Beis Hamikdash that would one day be destroyed. Yosef saw the world as being greater than himself. Even during intense personal moments, he sensed the national suffering that would result from the churban. Yosef felt the joy of others and cried for the pain of others.
Yosef learned this trait of selflessness from his mother. Rochel had waited for seven years to marry Yaakov, but at the moment that would have been her greatest joy she realized that her sister Leah would be subject to suffering tremendous embarrassment. Rather than enjoy her own moment of joy, she sacrificed everything for her sister. Many centuries later Rochel would once again turn her concern toward others. After the first Beis Hamikdash was destroyed, Rochel approaches Hashem to cry for her children. Actually, most of the exiles at this time were Leah's descendants. Rochel's son Yosef's children had gone into exile long ago. It was primarily the tribe of Yehuda who was suffering at this time. Yet, in Rochel's eyes if any Jew was suffering it was as if her own were in pain.
This Friday, Asara B'Teves, is an opportune time to focus on the pain of others. The Rambam describes one who doesn't feel the suffering and join in the fast days of the community as one who has completely distanced oneself from the Jewish People. During these very difficult times, we must constantly remind ourselves of the pain of our fellow Jews.
Chazal teach us that only those who cry for Yerushalayim will merit to rejoice in its rebuilding. May the time of tears come to an end for the Jewish people and may we very soon rejoice together. We look forward to the day that Asara B' Teves, together with the other days of national tragedy, will be transformed to become days of joy and celebration.
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